Faith

"Concentration (Focus) Building" Half - Day Workshop for U-16 Cricket Players

2011-11-30T13:53:00.001+05:30

16 innings, 8 months and 13 days, without a century in both Test and One day Sachin Tendulkar and his fans are still waiting for his world record of 100th ton in international cricket, though he had come close to it on a few occasions after scoring his 99th ton against South Africa during the world cup on March 12.

How many times have you experienced such situations in your sporting career?
How many times have you seen a batsman getting out when he is close to 50 or 100?
How many times have you seen a fielder dropping an easy catch during the crucial time of the match?

Concentrating or focusing on the right things at the right time is one of the most important skills an athlete can possess. Concentration is generally considered as one of the main qualities that are important for successful performance in most sports. All athletes recognize that they have difficulties concentrating for the duration of a performance or at specific times.

Difficulties concentrating are usually due to distractions. Rather than concentrating on appropriate cues, athletes become distracted by thoughts, emotions and other events. These distractions can be both internal and external.

Attention control and concentration are skills that can be improved and worked on just like a physical/ technical skill. There are a number of sport and non-sport related strategies and exercises that can be used to assist you in enhancing your attention and concentration skills and thus your performance.

To learn more about these "Concentration Building" techniques register your name with us for the Workshop.

Workshop Date & Time: 11th December 2011, Sunday 9:00 am to 1:00 pm

Workshop Venue: Paharpur Business Centre & Software Technology Incubator Park, 21 Nehru Place, New Delhi 110019, India

Contact for Workshop Details and Registration : madhuli.kulkarni@gmail.com

Why Mission Olympic???

2011-09-23T12:56:00.000+05:30

Check out my article Why Mission Olympic??? on www.missionolympic2012.blogspot.com

10 Mantras for Success

2010-08-03T18:22:00.006+05:30

Saina – 10 Mantras for Success

Three Sundays, three titles, and a jump of three ranks. Saina Nehwal has turned June 2010 into a historic month for Indian badminton with three titles in three successive weeks. What a performance! Saina one of the very few ‘focused’ players in India. Through her performances one can say that its not just her matches and ranks that need to be followed but there is something else that should be followed, her mental processes. One of the mentally tough players in India. She has done so much that she has reached to a level, where upcoming players can look up to her as their role model.

Lets find out the qualities that can be learnt from this role model. I have drawn 10 such things from her and her coach’s interviews (about her) over the years. Here are those ten qualities of the mentally tough player with the excerpts from the interviews, you can add more in the comments column.

01. A strong will power
“I have always been mentally strong. The desire to win an Olympic medal drives me. Most people have to strive to get their will power in place – but for me, I have enough of it.” - Saina.

A strong will power to achieve something becomes the driving force for you. And helps you remain focused on your game.

02. Love for the Game
“My first love is Badminton” -Saina Nehwal. If you love your game you can be assured of a consistent good performance.

03. Know Yourself and your opponent well
Its very important to know yourself and your opponent well before the match, planning becomes easy. Understand you strengths, weaknesses and your opponents strengths, weaknesses well and then plan strategies accordingly. Different players play on different strengths and weaknesses of yours, So you need to be ready for every player. “She (Saina)had to be prepared for a long game. She had to stay in the match and it was important to keep attacking. She fought hard. Lu Lan was leading in the second game (15-13), but once Saina got the opportunity, she closed it out.” – Pulella Gopichand

04. Practice and Discipline make you perfect
“I have always been a disciplined sportsperson. I am always 15 minutes early in practice sessions. I am focused. I cannot stay away from the badminton court for a single day!”

There are no short cuts to success. Practice, practice till you succeed. Unless you take your practice seriously you cannot expect the (good)results in competitions. “I train for eight hours a day, since the past nine years. And no, that is not much – the Chinese train for 14 hours a day – which means that I have a lot of catching up to do.

I concentrate more on physical fitness. I do a lot of weights. I run a lot – I have to do 12 speed runs, along with a half speed run for a half hour. This is especially because the girls’ game is mostly a lot of running. We sprint, jump and hop for 65 minutes or more. And that, for five days on end. Because badminton is such an intense game where every point is so hard fought for, I need enough rest between tournaments, like say, one week. I can’t stay a day without badminton. I can only relax if I’ve trained.”- Saina Nehwal

05. Focus on your goal and manage distractions
One thing that you will invariably find in all the interviews of Saina “I want to be WORLD NO.1″. And this particular goal has helped her to manage the ‘glamorous’ distractions, that most of the young upcoming sports sensations had fallen prey to. She resembles the Arjuna from Mahabharata, who could see nothing but the ‘birds eye’ and one can sense that Saina can see nothing but ‘World No.1′.

06. It is okay to get angry, frustrated, sad (show negative emotions) as long as it make you determined on what you have to do.
Why run away from the fact that we were disappointed by our game and give excuses for our failures. It’s okay to admit our negative emotions. That shows we are honest to ourselves and helps us focus on the next match. After losing to Li Xuerui at the Asian Championships in April 2010 Saina broke down at the venue but that made her more determine to win the next match with her. “Saina was tactically better prepared this time (the next time she played Li Xuerui). She was more confident.” – Pullela Gopichand

07. Not just talk about winning but also about what you have to do to win
Winning is very important to her. She is not just hard on herself but on her fans too Modest player wants her fans to be there when she is winning but she don’t want them to be around when she is loosing. “They (fans) also get disappointed if I loose the match so I just want them to be happy when I am winning matches”.

You would find her in almost every interview talking about winning, but its not only that, at the same time you would also find her emphasize on what she needs to do to win those matches. Winning is very important but if you only focus on it you are not going to win, for that you need to focus on the things that are within your control which is your performance.

08. If your opponent is playing brilliantly its your job to play better than her/him
“I have lost so many matches where I played my best but still lost, its tough to take such defeat, but you have to think why the opponent has won the match, only because, she must have trained harder than you, or she was more focused than you or she must have done something better than you, so next time I play her I have to be better than her.”

Saina Nehwal: a perfect ten
Instead of being afraid of the opponent you need to find out what changes you should do in your game to play better than the opponent. That’s the simple ‘funda’ to beat the ‘unbeatable’. And one of the reasons why she is winning with the Chinese players.

09. If you push yourself, you can do anything. The greatest thing is to take yourself out of the comfort zone, and do something that seems difficult to do.
In an interview to TV channel in 2008, she was asked “Why did you choose badminton, not many people follow it in India?” and to which she said “I want to be world No.1 in the sport that I have chosen, it’s okay if I am not famous in India.” And today with that determination she has reached the 3rd position in the world and has pulled the crowd to the stadiums to watch a badminton match (which was not much followed earlier)

10. Success should be linked with the quality of effort.
“I have more fans (now) because I am winning tournaments, I want to be 100 per cent at every tournament,” she said after winning Indonesia open super series. “I’m not concerned about rankings. If I win, my ranking will improve. My focus is on improving my game and fitness. If that happens, everything else follows.” This type of attitude keeps the player on her/his toes. S/he does not take the performance for granted. And even if you are losing you don’t loose the hope, “I’m not scared of anybody,” she would say during the spell of losses to the Chinese. “It’s about fitness. If I’m fit, I’ll win.”

The Art of War: Surprises!

2010-06-15T13:32:00.000+05:30

The Art of War: Surprises!

The War Has Begun…

2010-06-12T18:25:00.000+05:30

The War Has Begun…

THE BURDEN: The Older Sibling Athlete

2010-06-08T14:04:00.000+05:30

THE BURDEN: The Older Sibling Athlete

If you will strongly enough....

2010-06-07T10:21:00.007+05:30

I chose Psychology for my graduation because of my father. I was not very keen on taking Arts but he understood my aptitude and convinced me to take Psychology. I joined Arts college started attending classes and loved psychology. I started attending different lectures organized in our city related to this field. One day I came across a small column of events in a local newspaper and it read 'an informal interview with Mr. Bhishmaraj Bam a renowned sports psychologist in India who counsels the likes of Sachin Tendulkar, Rahul Dravid, Geet Sethi, Aparna Popat, Anjali Bhagwat' etc. This field of psychology seemed very new and interesting to me and I decided to attend the program. The program was quiet helpful for me in order to understand the interesting field of sports Psychology, but more importantly I was in awe with Mr. Bam (we all call him Bam Sir). He is such a wonderful person and the way he explained the things was awesome.

Aha, I got my area of specialization in psychology now, I said it to myself. I went home searched on the internet for more information on sports psychology and Bam sir. And the icing on the cake was that Bam sir was based in the same city where I was. Wow! What an opportunity, I again said to myself. And I decided to call him. I searched his number in the Telephone Directory and dialed his number. As the bell was ringing I thought to myself, "what am I doing he is such a big name in the field and I am not even a graduate (at that time I was doing my second year of Bachelor of Arts) why would he talk to me." and I disconnected the phone. And even if I decide to talk to him what will I say, was a big question for me. But then there was this feeling that I should talk to him. After a few days I again thought of calling him but i felt very nervous whenever I picked up the receiver to call him. And because of this I never dialed his number. After every four five days I use to pick up the receiver to dial his number and would keep it back without dialing. This went on for a month or so and one day I decided that today will call him and will talk to him. And with all the strength I picked up the receiver and dialed his number one voice from my mind would tell me to disconnect the line and the other to hold on. As I was not sure who to listen to a voice from the other end of the phone said,"Hello!" "Can I talk to Bam sir please" was my hurried response. But I was told Bam sir is out of India and would return after 3 months. Phusssss.

Mean time I started reading about him and about the field of sports psychology. The more I read about him and sports psychology the more my feeling of meeting him and specializing in the field of sports psychology got reinforced. And I kept trying his number but was unable to talk to him as he was very busy and whenever I called him he was never at home. And we never met. After a few months I was traveling by a train and there was a man sitting in front row of mine and I thought I have seen him somewhere but didn't remember where and suddenly the bulb in my brain lit 'Oh my God! He is Bam sir' I jumped from my seat and very excitedly told my sister who was sitting next to me and she pushed me to talk to him.

I went to him and told that I was so eager to meet him and wanted to work with him..... He with his very calm face and with a smile said to me "you really wanted to meet me, I know. I can see your strong will to meet me". I didn't know what to say to him, I just smiled and he smiled back at me and said, "Remember this,if you will something strongly enough the whole universe conspires to help you, that is the reason why we met today in this train".Which was so true in my case that I got to meet him and got a chance to work with him for years,and even today I experience such 'miracles' in my life be it in my personal or professional life.

Where there is a will there is a way, is what I have been knowing since I was a kid. But there was a new addition to it after that incident that Where there is a will there is a way and if you don't find the way the universe helps you to find one.

It’s Not Just About The Sport

2010-05-25T16:00:00.001+05:30

It’s Not Just About The Sport

KHEL KHEL MAIN – EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

2010-05-25T15:57:00.001+05:30

KHEL KHEL MAIN – EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

“Love” for the Game

2010-05-25T15:56:00.000+05:30

“Love” for the Game

Sports and Mind Games

2010-05-25T15:55:00.000+05:30

Sports and Mind Games

Sports and Psychology?

2010-05-25T15:54:00.000+05:30

Sports and Psychology?

Khel Khel Main

2007-07-04T11:48:00.000+05:30

Emotional Intelligence
# Ordinary Supermen.
What does it take to turn a team of talented hard workers into unstoppable world beaters?
Pride, patriotism, and above all the aura. You definitely feel the presence or the aura. Opposition teams feel it too. It was Australia’s aura that influenced Savrav Ganguly to bowl first when he won the toss on the morning of the world cup final 2003. His decision was judged harshly & was considered to be one of the reasons for India’s defeat in the final. But, it is inside the team that this aura works its greatest wonders. New comers whatever their skills or status are absorbed. They quickly feed the confidence & solidarity of their team-mates, soon they are performing feats on the field that their mere flesh and bones would suggest are impossible.
Australia won their third world cup final in four. Almost everything that could go wrong for Australia did go wrong:
Ø In January ’03 Shane Watson was ruled out with a back injury and was replaced by Symonds.
Ø On the morning of Australia’s opening match the Shane Warne drugs scandal broke, he was replaced by Hogg.
Ø Two weeks later, Jason Gillespie, who had been nearing his demonic best, limped home, Bichel replaced him.
Ø Ponting had already replaced one of the best captains in the world Steve Waugh, when the names of the players for world cup were declared. Steve Waugh had no place in the team.
Still they won- brilliantly, stylishly, uncompromisingly. Australian’s played with energy and never say die intensity. This aura cannot be brought, borrowed or copied.
Ø It is tied with an intense pride in their cap. That no other country possesses.
Ø It comes from players’ simple heartfelt patriotism.
Ø Their will to win for the people back home who aren’t blessed enough to play for Australia.
Ø It lies in the inspiration they draw from historical figures and events.
Other countries can simulate Australia’s academy, fielding drills and administrative structure. But the things that truly make this team what it is cannot be replicated. They come from the heart.

# They have a second type of intellect, even we have it, but we don’t make use of it. The German poet Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe referred to this using the German word “Herzensbildung” which literally means the “education of heart”. Today we call this emotional intelligence. Intellect and emotion are two sides of the same coin, without feelings, there would be no perception, no memory and no thought. And without a direct wire to the human emotions, not even the most powerful electronic brain will be in a position to think intelligently.
Thus Emotions + Positive Thoughts = Emotional intelligence.
Sports often present us with stressful situations or quarrels in which we find ourselves doing things that we immediately wish we had never done. Strong feelings such as shame, jealousy, and fear can affect our perceptions; often causing us to act before the brain interfere and make us behave in a more controlled manner.
Competition can bring out the best or the worst in athletes. It is often the competitor with the stronger emotional intelligence who can control his or her mind before and during events, who wins. Positive emotions can help sustain motivation and enable us to approach events with enthusiasm and energy. Negative emotions by contrast are linked to avoidance behavior and withdrawal. Different athletes react differently to the same situation. The one, who takes the responsibility to make things happen, emerges to be a winner. The individual must find self-knowledge – the ability to consciously and continuously recognize his or her own thinking process and feelings. You are what you feel and think you are. If you are confused and worried the outcome is most likely to be confused and unsatisfactory. If your thinking is clear and to the point, your brain will give you clear and concise action toward the outcome you desire. Maintaining mental health and emotional composure is not simply the matter of perceiving our own emotions, but also involves the realization that feelings can be controlled.

# Intelligence to a certain degree, is something we are born with, skill can be acquired to a certain level, but emotional intelligence or as the meaning suggest education of heart can be learned and improved. Five simple steps of emotional intelligence or the hierarchy of emotional intelligence.

1. Love:
Love your game and the team you play for: With love the most beautiful of all feelings, a relaxed mood prevails. When you are in love with your game, you sometimes attain that rare condition of bliss, in which the brain shuts off all unpleasant feelings and provides the highest energy. When this happens – you feel so strong that you believe you can attain any goal. This love for the game prevents you from getting burn out; hence you enjoy the game more and more. When you love your team – you believe and support each other, you stand united in any challenge or circumstances. It’s a different feeling and a different game. You float into the so-called seventh heaven, with a relaxed body and mind.

2. Self-confidence:
Positive attitude towards self and towards the outcome of the game: It’s important to remain positive in every situation. This can be difficult, given that much of sport dictates that there be winner as well as looser. However, if you dwell on the negatives and on that looser will occur, are you going to improve any aspect of your game? Probably no. So-choose to be positive, and to see positives in your performance. Even the most deflating butt-kicking contains elements of future success. The consequences are that you will be more relaxed, in a better mood, and will most likely learn valuable lessons. Focus on those natural abilities or gifts that are unique to you as an athlete or individual, you will notice that you will feel much more excited about the up-coming competition. Thinking in this manner will put you in a state of mind where you can easily feel confident and can expect to win.

3. Emotional Self Control:
Control the controllable: Can you control any of the following things:
Ø The playing conditions
Ø The umpires decision
Ø Weather, temperature
Ø Field conditions
Ø Play of your opponent
Ø A bad bounce
Ø Your coach’s reaction
Ø Winning the game
No. But you try to control it. Hence you start getting nervous, which will leave your muscles too tight to play well. Second your confidence will begin to spiral down. Third, how well do you think you will play if you are uptight and have no confidence? You guessed it! Not Very! Emotional intelligence is the shift in your focus from these uncontrollable factors to the factors you can control. You cannot control the event, but you definitely can control your response to that event. That is what makes the difference. Our performance is a function of not our condition but our response to that condition. Respond positively to any situation and expect positive outcome.

4. Empathy:
Respect and appreciation for others: Emotional intelligence also means being in command of your own feelings, your interest in others and your ability to engage in exchange and co-operation with others. It is to respect and acknowledge other people’s contribution in your success. Give credit to others where it is due. Respect your opponents, competitors for their skills, their interest in the game and for their effort to make the game challenging. Similarly respect your social responsibility. Pay back to the society in some way or the other. It’s again a different feeling.

5. You v/s you:
Pushing back the limits: When you reach to this step of emotional intelligence you are not interested in the result of the competition. What you are interested in now is to discover your potentials. Now your competition is not with your opponent, it is with yourself. You make records and you break your own records. You find out new methods, skills and strategies to make the game more and more challenging for yourself. You are not even bothered of where you stand in the ranking because you are much above that competition. You become world beaters and unstoppable, when you keep on beating your old records and are making the new once.
# Once you start climbing the hierarchy of emotional intelligence no negative emotion will be aroused by any situation. Even in a very horrible situation you would still remain positive, confident and successfully come out of any condition.

# Finally I end up my paper with a case that explains how Emotional intelligence can become a competitive advantage and make you a better person.
Formula 1 season the then 5 times world champion Michael Schumacher in his scarlet red Ferrari would have never been under such a tremendous pressure any time before. Reason:
Ø Badly lost 3 opening races of the season
Ø Had to switch over to previous year’s car
Ø 4th race on Ferrari’s home turf: Monza
Ø His mother was critically ill and she passed away a couple of hours before the race.
No one expected him to win. A situation of pressure, emotions, sentiments, commitment, devotion, courage and performance put to test. It was a race to win by defeating his younger brother on a day when both brothers were in almost the same mental frame. Still he raced with the aggression he never delivered before, never raced with such vigor to take the chequered flag for first win of 2003 and latter winning the world championship for 6th time and now he is 7 times world champion. Still you can see the same passion and love for the game.
He has faced tough situations many times:
Ø His brother’s severe accident in front of his eyes during a race.
Ø His own car catching fire while refueling.
But he overcame all such situations and even won those races. Thus by controlling the controllable you can make miracles happen. He has made many records, earned a lot of money, a lot of respect and affection from his teammates and fans and shares the same with others. Never ever his post race conference ends without thanking all his mechanics and even the person who cleans up his car and helmet and people who work on shop floor in the factory to build his machine. After achieving so much in the game his answer to the question ‘what next?’ is “I’ll carry on racing for as long as I get that buzz when I am behind wheels. Pushing back the limits is what makes this game challenging”.
With season 2004 completely dominated by him, he races and competes with himself for his love for driving. And still the champion is humble and modest who would always be there to help others. Be it financially 10 million $ for tsunami victims or working for Dalai Lama for a day in the tea garden.

# Emotional Intelligence helps ordinary people in doing extraordinary things.

Spending Attitude

2007-04-30T11:17:00.000+05:30

Spending Attitude

This incidence happened some 4-5 yrs ago, when I was doing my first years of Masters. This was the time when cell phones were about to enter into our everyday life. We had 40 students in the class and out of which only 2 students had cell phones and out of 4 professors only 1 had the cell phone. Cell phones were considered as a symbol of pride at that time and people loved to show their cell phones.

One of my friends, Soni use to get very irritated with others’ cell phones and the ring tones as the phone owners had the habit of listening to the ring tones continuously one after another. She would always say, “They only want to show off their cell phones, what urgent and important work they have to do, for which they need the cell phone.” I also agreed to her to a point that cell phone should not be allowed in the classroom or at least it needs to be switched off or put on silent mode, as it disturb others.

I have a habit of reading books and I like to have the real good books in my library. One day I had brought two books, ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ by Stephen Covey and ‘You can Win’ by Shiv Khera, the cost of the two books was around Rs. 500 to 600. I talked about the books with Soni, how wonderful the books are and it would help me grow as a person and as a counselor, to which she very excitedly said, “Oh, I have heard about these books and they are really wonderful books to have, but are very costly, I cannot buy it. If you don’t mind can I have the books to read, I will return as soon as I finish reading the books.” I gave her the books to read.

After three weeks or so she returned the books saying, “Wow! Wonderful books. I have a request can you give them to me again when I need them for reference?” and I agreed to lend the books to her when she requires. She added further, “you know what I have brought something and I want to show you that.” She took out something from her bag and I was shocked to see that it was a cell phone worth Rs. 6000 to 7000. I thought some three weeks back she said that she couldn’t afford the books worth Rs. 500-600, which she may require for her reference, but now she can afford a cell phone worth Rs. 6000-7000 and earlier she never liked the idea of having a cell phone in college. I very curiously asked her, “You found 6000-7000 Rs. cell phone essential to have than the books worth Rs. 500-600 which you plan to borrow from me.” To which she gave a very strange answer, she said, “I wanted to show these two that even I could afford a cell phone.”

I had no reply for that answer. I thought that’s her view. But I never thought that her views would turn out expensive for me where I had to lend her my books when she wanted to use them for reference and for her cell phone, well I always had to call her back after her missed calls.

Now after 5 years I am still using those books for my reference and she had changed 4 cell phone models to show others she can afford to have a new cell phone with more functions in it.

It’s not just about Soni and her cell phone but if you look around you will find many such people who are continuously wasting their money buying things to impress others or to show others what they can afford, and they never get satisfied with what they have.

“The average American is busy buying things he doesn’t want with the money he doesn’t have to impress people he doesn’t like.” O.Donald Olson

It’s not just about the money but I believe it reflects the attitude too. Your spending behavior can be a window to your attitude. Just check!

Keep Your Goal In Sight

2007-04-20T21:40:00.000+05:30

Keep Your Goal In Sight

Its’ a story I read a few months back and liked it very much and therefore would like to share with you all.

Ahmed was seated in the lounge at the airport in Mumbai, waiting to take the midnight flight to London. He had reached the airport hours before schedule and was already tired of sitting idly. Oh, how many times he had mentally rehearsed his speech for the all important meeting in London. Tired of idling around he decided to take a stroll – after all he had checked in his baggage and was still almost an hour left before he would be let inside the gate.

Ahmed went out for a stroll. After the crowd and the noise inside the airport, the cool air outside and the quiet of the night were a welcome change for Ahmed. He decided to venture a little further, after checking his watch. Going further down, he noticed a lone machine on the sidewalk. He was drawn by curiosity to the machine. It turned to be a simple weighing machine. Acting on a childish impulse, Ahmed took out a coin and inserted it in the slot. A card popped out and Ahmed was stunned to read it. It said: “Good evening, Mr.Ahmed you weigh sixty kilos. Hope you enjoy your midnight flight to London.” By God, how could a simple machine know his name, and his plans! Amazing!

Ahmed was tempted to try checking again, to see if it was all really happening. He went through the procedure of positioning himself correctly and inserting the coin in the slot. The card that came out then read, “Good evening, Mr. Ahmed, you still weigh sixty kilos. Hope you enjoy your midnight flight to London.”

Now Ahmed was truly taken aback. He still couldn’t figure out, how a simple machine could tell so much about him. He had to know. It was getting more and more curious. He stood wondering on the various theories and possibilities that could have gone into making the special machine. He mentally worked out many combinations. Nothing seemed convincing.

After a while, he decided to test the machine again. This time he carefully removed his heavy shoes and jacket and placed them at a distance from the machine. He then stood on the machine and inserted one of his last coins. The card that came out then read,” Good evening, with or without shoes and jacket, you are still Mr.Ahmed and you still weigh sixty kilos. You just missed your midnight flight to London.”

How many Ahmed are there among us? Most of us. Distracted by happenings, real or imagined, we lose sight of our major and immediate goals in life. Distracted and led on a fantasy trip, Ahmed let go of his immediate goal-that of catching the flight out to London. There are ways out, no doubt. However, imagine the waste of time money, effort, anxiety for both Ahmed and his family members who would be waiting for him, and a chain of other related upsets and disturbances. A meeting missed, having to answer people….

Most of the times we get into the things which are less important to us at that moment and waste our energy and time in doing things which give us nothing in return but frustration, stress and tensions.

As author Robert J. McKain says, “The reason most goals are not achieved is that we spend our time doing second things first.”

“The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.” – William James

Merry Christmas

2006-12-26T18:31:00.000+05:30

It was a cold December morning some 14-15 years back I was standing in the balcony of my house with my elder sister. I was in 6th class then and as like any vacation-loving student I was very excited for we had a long Christmas vacation, which means no school and all play and fun. As we were looking at the rising sun I was all busy sharing my vacation plans with my sister, she was not very much interested in my plans and I was not bothered with whether she was listening or not.

After a while she turned to me and said “ you know what, Christmas is not just about no school and all play, you get rewarded for your good behavior too.” I was surprised, “reward for good behavior!” and the came a lot of questions, “who gives the reward?” “Who gets the reward?” “When?” “Why?” “What?” “How?” all the endless questions.
My sister was just smiling and was looking at me, and then she said very softly, “If you behave properly, i.e. study well don’t trouble anybody do what aai, baba and I say be a nice girl and you will get reward from Santa Claus on 24th December. Hang your socks (clean socks) in the balcony at night and you will get gift from Santa Claus for your good behavior.” From that day to the Christmas Eve I was a very obedient daughter, polite sister, dutiful friend, very helpful, well-behaved girl, “Geeta turned Seeta”.

And finally it was 24th December, the day I was keenly waiting for finally arrived and at night I hung the socks in the balcony, but I was not able to sleep for a long time as obvious I was eager to meet Santa and get my reward for all the efforts I had put in for the past weeks, and every 5 minutes I was there in the balcony to check the socks. “Sleep or you will not get the gift”, my sister shouted, as she was irritated because of my impatient behavior. And I ran to the bed followed her order as I didn’t want to miss my gift for this reason. The next morning when I woke up the first thing that I did was obviously “check the socks” and …. “Yes I did it, I got my gift”, there were a lot of chocolates in the socks.

I was so happy, so happy that I was jumping like a kangaroo in the house. I shared my chocolates with my family, friends, and neighbors. Everyone was enjoying my story, as they knew that Santa Claus was none other than my elder sister.

It was not the first time when she had told me such a thing and I believed it and followed it too. When I was in 2nd or 3rd one day she told me that God is watching us and he gives us a right mark and a wrong mark on our behavior. If we behave properly he gives us right
And when we don’t behave properly he gives wrong and then one day he calculates how many right and wrong are on your record if you get maximum right you get rewarded but if you get maximum wrong marks you are punished. And whenever I did something wrong she said, do if you want to do but remember God will mark wrong in front of your name.

That got so fixed in my mind at that age that even today when I do something I first think for a while what will God give me, if it's right I go ahead, and if it’s a X mark I don’t do it.

One law that I learnt in science became my second lesson after these experiences is that every action has equal and opposite reaction.

Lesson 2: Every action has equal and opposite reaction.

Isn’t it similar to what we know, “As you sow so shall you reap.” A few lines that I like very much from a book, The Art of Living by S.N.Goenka are:
“Our difficulty, our ignorance is that we remain unheedful while planting seeds. We keep planting seeds of neem, but when the time comes for fruit we are suddenly alert, we want sweet mangoes. And we keep crying, praying, and hoping for mangoes. This doesn’t work.”

There is one more saying that I like (and again I don’t know who said it???) is:

If you want to know your past life
Look into your present condition
If you want to know your future
Look into your present action.

Psychology I Learn Through My Life

2006-12-26T18:28:00.000+05:30

Psychology I learn through my Life

The series of articles I propose to write under this heading are not any kind of Philosophical or theoretically psychological but it is clearly experiential. To explain this I will take help of a saying (I am not good at remembering who said what, anyways the saying is important than who said it.)

Life is a difficult teacher,
It tests you first and then gives you a lesson.

Now that’s what I would be writing. The lessons I learn after giving the tests of life. Again its not something very serious or unusual experiences of my life but very normal and usual situations and experiences that have some meaning behind their existence.

I have been learning psychology for almost seven to eight years. I love reading different books that deal with psychology and one of my favorite books is my diary that teaches me psychology better than anything else. I have the habit of writing about people I meet, experiences, situations etc. I come across everyday and then I wait for a while and try to seek the reasons for that particular situation and experience and I must tell you I learn wonderful lessons from it. Lessons that direct my future behavior.

One of the things I was very good at as a kid, most of the kids are, was “Give Reasons” well it’s not about something that is related to the academic syllabus but something related to my behavior. I was very good at giving reasons to anything that happened with me. I remember a very common incidence at my home every time I got my progress card (though there wasn’t any progress on the card every time it was given to me). The moment I reached home, I used to go to my room directly without saying anything to anybody and start completing my home work, reciting poems, tables, reading lessons loudly (loudly because I wanted to tell everyone that I am studying very sincerely). Then my father used to enter the room, knowing my drama very well, “Baba I got my progress card today, I am sorry, but the papers were very difficult, and our teacher didn’t teach us well, yes! I was not well before the exam, and nobody gave me their notes.” “That’s not my fault actually it happened because….”. I never took the responsibility of my actions or results and always reasoned it with some external faults. It was not just about giving reasons but it was also about not taking responsibility of my life and I always tried to give it to somebody else and thus never improved, developed and never changed the conditions nor my progress card.

Fortunately my Baba never listened to any reasons. His patent sentence to my reasons was, “Don’t give me any reason. Accept what you have done.” It took a lot of years for me to accept that, but I am happy I finally got that. Finally I took the responsibility whereby I became accountable to my success, failures, and decisions whether right or wrong, mistakes, etc. Now that I had been through both the experiences I know that taking responsibility of my life is so empowering which means once you take the responsibility you can even change the situation and giving that responsibility to others is limiting, where you cannot do anything unless others do it. I made a choice to take my responsibility and similarly the decision to give responsibility to somebody else was also my choice. In both the phases I made the choice and thus I was responsible for the condition of my life in both the phases.

Lesson 1: You are responsible for the condition of your Life.

Take responsibility to change the condition do not wait for any external miracle to happen. Accept the condition, take responsibility, and find out ways to change the condition. Situation is not in your control but your response to that situation is within your control, there is a choice for you: take the responsibility to change the condition or run away from the situation.

One very good example to explain Lesson 1 is the film, which released this year, which was appreciated by one and all, “Lage raho Munnabhai”. Gandhigiri that I understood through the film is taking responsibility to change the condition and therefore being responsible for the condition of our life.